I don't know if it's my blog or the fact that I love TMI or simply the special people I associate with on a regular basis, but vagina conversations seem to follow me. For example, the other day at homeschool co-op, a good friend of mine leaned over and whispered next to my ear in a low, sultry voice, “Have you seen my vagina?”

“Your WHAT?” I asked. I was sure I had misheard.

“Have you seen my vagina?” she repeated and gave me a knowing smile.

“Ummmmmm …” my face going red. &ldquo.... more >>

Because I am neurotic and because I stalk my blog repeatedly for new comments and because when I am not stalking my blog I am stalking Google Analytics to see how many people are visiting my blog by the hour, where they are coming from, and what they are looking for—I have come across a number of fascinating keyword searches that have resulted in Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip blog visits.

Cool Whip + Vagina is one of them.

So let me start by clearing the air. This is a wholesome, family-oriented blog, full of PG rated .... more >>

While I was pregnant with Nino, my in-laws lived in Germany. Near the end of my pregnancy, my husband Danny and I decided to go visit them. We missed them a lot and figured it would be a great deal easier to visit while I was pregnant than after the baby was born. The flight to Germany was wonderful. We flew British Airways. The flight attendants were kind and accommodating. They checked up on me constantly, patted my belly, and offered me extra snacks and bottled water. And they never ever made me feel bad when I had to use the restroom repeatedly, even when t.... more >>

I have never envied a penis. Not that I remember anyway. I've always been quite happy to be a girl and have all my girly parts intact. And my boys … they do not appear to have castration anxiety. If they did, they would probably spend less time running around the house butt naked while chasing each other with scissors.

I had always dismissed Freud's theories of the Oedipal and Electra complex as outdated psychobabble, academic jargon, or just a lot of hype. Until a recent conversation with my friend Adriane.

When Adriane was fourteen, she spen.... more >>

At the zoo yesterday, we were observing an ocelot. The ocelot looked vaguely disturbed as it paced around its small cage. “Look!” my son's friend said. “There's his penis!”

For some reason, we all found this intriguing and leaned forward to get a good look. As we did so, the ocelot turned his back to us and sprayed directly in our faces. “Take that,” the ocelot seemed to say.

Thankfully, we didn't actually get baptized with ocelot urine. The cage was just far enough away. But as we all jumped back screa.... more >>

I don't remember participating in any torrid romances as a little girl. Maybe I was too much of a dork. In fact, I don't remember boys being interested in me at all until junior high when I cut off my Laura Ingalls Wilder braids, learned to use a hair dryer, and discovered the many uses of Wet Rain hairspray.

But lots of preschoolers and kindergarteners have crushes and participate in dramatic love affairs that rival those on daytime television. My darling Nino has several girlfriends whom he regularly informs me want to marry him. “Do you want.... more >>

Last week I noticed that a large group of fruit flies had decided to inhabit the area surrounding my children's bookshelf. I had never heard of fruit flies infesting books before, so I decided to investigate. As I pulled the books off the shelf, I quickly discovered the culprit—a rotting plum that had probably been carefully tucked away for future consumption by my toddler. In fact, when I pulled it out, Diego ran over and shouted with glee as he tried to snatch the moldering plum out of my hand. I had to practically tackle him in order to stop him from po.... more >>

My husband is obsessed with his own sexiness. Now I must say, he is truly extremely very sexy. I'll give him that much. But on a given day, it is likely that he will mention the various states of his sexiness no less than 50 times. For example, a typical telephone conversation with my husband usually starts like this:

“Hey, what's up? How are you doing, sweetie?” I ask

His one word response, “Sexy.”

“Okay …so what are you up to right now?”

“Maintaining my sexy.”

&l.... more >>

The other day I was getting ready to go somewhere with the kids in our van. I had already buckled both kids into their car seats when Diego called to me. “Mami! Er!” he proclaimed.

“What is it, sweetie?” I asked.

“Er! Er!” he repeated, smiling and looking quite delighted.

“Oh good!” I said encouragingly, unsure of what he was trying to tell me.

“No, Mami. Er. Watch!” He seemed very determined that I understand him and I simply couldn't figure out what he was trying to convey .... more >>

According to my parents, I was a high-maintenance toddler. In addition to some of the more typical toddler dilemmas like diaper changes, haircuts, clothes drama and food fads, I was also completely obsessed with having my socks perfectly aligned on my toes. My parents claim they spent hours upon hours arranging socks on my little feet while I sat crying my eyes out and repeating, “But it just doesn't feeeeeel right.”

I believe them. Aside from the fact that I actually remember these episodes and may retain some minor sock OCD even today, as .... more >>

Everyone whose baby likes to climb has had one of these moments. You and your (barely walking) toddler are playing happily together in the middle of the living room. Something quiet, like puzzles or lacing cards. You need to go to the bathroom and your child seems so involved in his activity that you decide not to bring him into the bathroom with you. You pee, change your tampon, wash your hands and return to the living room all in under 52 seconds.

When you return, your toddler is missing. Where could he have gone? You look around the room. No sign. Yo.... more >>

Somewhere during their second year, many children enter the Why Stage. They are curious about the world. They are just beginning to be able to verbalize their questions/concerns and they desperately want to understand how it all works. It is amazing and wonderful to watch their little minds spinning and churning while trying to understand what things are important to them and why.

At the same time, the Why Stage can sometimes be exhausting. Toddlers want to know why and they want to know now. As soon as you answer them, they either a) ask the sam.... more >>

Pretty much, as soon as your baby can walk and talk, he will enter the Helper Stage. The Helper Stage is very sweet. And it lasts a long, long time. My almost-five-year old is still in the Helper Stage and I am quite grateful, because now, he is actually quite helpful.

However, the Helper Stage usually begins when your baby is approximately 18 months old and the help they offer falls more generally into categories like small disasters, medium size mistakes or large-scale destruction.

For example, whenever I am cooking, my little ones always want to join .... more >>

Around the time most babies turn a year old and start walking, they transform from a cuddly lump into a tiny tornado. This happens mostly because of walking. It is actually good for some moms who are constantly living in the state of a near-nervous breakdown because their child is so devoted to swallowing everything they find on the floor while crawling. Now that they are walking, their attention is switched to things that are at knee-level for most grownups.

Unfortunately, with every stage there are new hazards. Instead of being interested in shoving small to.... more >>

At a certain point, all babies fall in love with the toilet. It is inevitable. The toilet is shiny and glimmering white. It is filled with water. It has a lid that lifts up and down. It makes a cool sound when you pull the handle. It almost always has a lovely large brush next to it that is wonderful for combing one's hair or the hair of one's stuffed animals. It is just at the right height for someone to stand and drop his toys inside, or to fill up tiny cups with water and drink them immediately, or to float all the toothbrushes in the house. Yes, oh yes, .... more >>

I remember the first time my baby did something of his own volition that surprised me. Nino was about four months old and seated in his car seat, which was snapped into our stroller. I was shopping at CVS. This was during the time when my baby still enjoyed being strolled around and shopping was still a fairly enjoyable experience.

I went up to the checkout counter. While I was paying for my purchases, I reached into my wallet and pulled out some old receipts that needed to be thrown away. I set the receipts down on top of Nino's legs and continued with my.... more >>

Babies go through so many phases in their development. I like to call the first, "The Cuddly Lump Stage." Babies are incredibly cuddly. There is nothing like holding a tiny newborn. Even if you are not a baby person, newborns make your heart melt because they just lie there in your arms looking so adorable and helpless.

But this stage is very deceptive. Yes. Newborns are cuddly and they do lie around like a lump some of the time. Before having children of their own, most people imagine that babies spend all their time in the cuddly lump stage, doing no.... more >>